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Missing something. It’s just a “phase”.

This is in response to The Daily Post/Prompt: PHASE.

“The honeymoon phase always ends, for everyone.”  by Rose Leslie

It is indeed my true feelings that come and go and I believe some or most Expats all over the World are experiencing the same thing like me.  After all, we are only human.

I have saved this writing under a draft for such a long time and finally dig it out again just in time for this particular theme.  Having a negative feeling is not nice if I put it mildly.  There were times that all I need is a little more push and I will be booking a ticket to my home.  Yes, there is a but… family sticks through thick and thin. This is just a phase… and I will get over it.

“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.”  by Oliver Wendell Holmes

BACK HOME.  Sure I have said before that home is where the heart is.  Perhaps with regards to family life yes it is better that we stick together. But… still something is missing.  Something I left behind that matters.  That I felt suffocated and anxious sometimes thinking it will take so long before I set eyes on them again.  I never felt this way before when I was younger and want to explore the possibilities of making my dreams comes true.  It did come true when I settled in New Zealand.  A place I longed to come back to.  A place where I felt the stronger ME, the better ME and the freedom that comes with it. I miss the natural beauty that surrounds me in all honesty over there.  I miss the car that I have sold a month before coming here in the UAE.  I miss all types of birds that I fed every morning from our back garden, thinking back then that sometimes it annoys me when a particular bird make a noise (Pukeko) in the morning like an early wake-up call when all I want is to sleep in. I miss our big comforting house compare to our apartment hotel we have now though I am not complaining it’s just I am missing those things that I was taking for granted just because it was there.  I miss earning my own money without depending on anyone and I travel when and where I want to within reasons,  I miss talking with my friends that I left behind, though I have new friends here but being an EXPATS they too cannot be too attached so not to hurt so much when one is leaving after the contract ends.  This is the reality of life here being an expat.  I miss the 4 seasons though not as much the long winter months but the colours it brings and the feelings it evokes.  I miss all the wonderful places I have been inside the Country and still not finish exploring it as it was cut short even after staying there for more than a decade and the awesome feeling of being proud of its natural beauty!  I just felt the need to write and confirm this feeling of sadness sometimes.  All expats have this feeling resurrected once in a while I am sure of that.  And someday once it’s all done and dusted, once the responsibilities and future established then we WILL go back home… where our hearts hoping for a better tomorrow!

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New Zealand flag on top, vinneve photo

 

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Auckland Skycity tower, vinneve photo

 

Up the hill in Dunedin

somewhere in Dunedin,NZ (vinneve photo)

 

Thanks for your time reading this.  Cheers! 🙂

 

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Daily Prompt: Whisper

This is in response to The Daily Post: Whisper.

“Difficulties come when you don’t pay attention to life’s whisper.  Life’s always whispers to you first, but if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you’ll get a SCREAM…”  by Oprah Whinfrey

Missing you a lot…. wish it is easy.

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This is TRUE.

So I better end this with….

 

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Window of Opportunity

This is in response for the Daily Prompt: WINDOW

“If a window of opportunity appears, don’t pull down the shade.”  by Tom Peters

 

Dunedin

Overview of Dunedin, NZ (from one of my domestic travel around my home Country)

 

That is why we are here in the land of the desert. PERIOD.

 

 

 

 

Living in a box

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I remember my husband told me about this many times over the phone and on Skype… ” I am tired of living in a box”… and that time I thought well, not many people have the opportunity to live in a good hotel all expenses paid and all you can eat buffet every time!  Until I have experienced it myself.

The novelty wears off.

I am now craving for my space, my own contributions to where I am going to live in.  A place where nobody can interrupt your sleep because they have to clean the room.. (oh yeah they are sometimes blind not seeing either the paper or the red light panel outside your “unit”).  A place where I can cook my own healthy foods so I don’t see my waist expanding every day!.  A place where my son can run around without hesitation if he is waking or disturbing anybody.  A place I can call home in the Middle East.

Lots of expats are having the same dilemma as me and some don’t have a choice really because it is the employer who is paying the bills.  Most employers have their own corporate rates in every hotel in any City. Luckily, we have a choice now just after we went to my husband corporate meeting (and yes we tag along if it’s going to be a long time away or no definite day to come back to living in our “box”) and so here we are to our next adventure of looking for our own place.  I am thrilled that perhaps in a week’s time we are already in our own BIG space where my son can do his running and hide and seek.  I tell you living in a box doesn’t give you more choices to hide anyway!

Now I know how it feels like living in a hotel with a feeling of an indefinite period of when to go and it is not nice at all. But hey, don’t get me wrong… I still want to go to a hotel to relax and unwind away from the “big space” and routine.  It helps to satisfy one or few days of being away so you are happy to come back again to the comfort of your own home, and yes…

There is no place in the World to be better, than home with FAMILY…

The reason

This is the reason…

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Sweet family, vinneve

Why we left our home, a good job and friends behind… to be a family once again.

20150609_122045  NZ cards

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To pursue some dreams and make this a reality.

Sometimes you have to travel far to make it a possibility.

Looking at new places, different cultures and background.

So why not uplift our hearts and look up, not down!

Enjoy my new life and treat it as an adventure… where millions of people go before me on the venture!
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Quote by Sydney J Harris –

” Happiness is a direction, not a place…”

My BIG deal month of MAY

Now I can finally tell my story why I am even here doing blogging.  First to express my feelings as what they said just write and it can come or will flow naturally… so here goes.

Yes it sure is my big deal month of May as this is the month that i think my life will change… I hope for the better and for the sake of the family.

Now, how can you describe the feeling of fear, anticipation and excitement at the same time and sometimes one after another?  It depends on my mood of the day haha!  I am in a mixed of all these emotions and perhaps the first two feelings for the past 2 years!  Now adding excitement to the mix is somehow makes it better or sound positive. Let me explain as perhaps some of you will scratch their head and say “Duh?”… or some can relate and know what I mean.

Fear – as I have a good job that I love with a good pay is not something I can discard after 8 years just to follow someone else dreams. Fear of losing this comfort is giving me a hard time giving this up plus living in one of the beautiful Country in the World which is New Zealand somehow makes me think is there a better life and opportunity elsewhere that I will feel comfortable and be happy?

Anticipation – WELL … part of me really anticipates this new transition in life.  From expecting to live in Switzerland then Australia then now Middle East! (Secret location wink! haha! follow me so you may know).  I have so many words to describe this feelings… “butterfly in the stomach”, “tossing and turning in bed” as I over think what will the future be… for me (I am not being selfish here as I know for my hubby and son they will be alright). This type of feeling also creates some “drama” as the more I anticipate something good or bad the more I want some reassurances that everything will be fine.

Excitement – This is how I can describe my feelings now a days … so I borrow this lines below… yep I need to google and see how best to describe me… well this is after some time. I have to be brave and need to overcome my fear as it is surely better to feel excited than fearing something unknown. And yes i finally realized I am getting excited!

“Don’t you long for something different to happen, something so exciting and new it carries you along with it like a great tide, something that lets your life blaze and burn so the whole world can see it?” 

Juliet Marillier, Son of the Shadows

To sum it all up… another quote… Yes please!…