“The honeymoon phase always ends, for everyone.” by Rose Leslie
It is indeed my true feelings that come and go and I believe some or most Expats all over the World are experiencing the same thing like me. After all, we are only human.
I have saved this writing under a draft for such a long time and finally dig it out again just in time for this particular theme. Having a negative feeling is not nice if I put it mildly. There were times that all I need is a little more push and I will be booking a ticket to my home. Yes, there is a but… family sticks through thick and thin. This is just a phase… and I will get over it.
“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” by Oliver Wendell Holmes
BACK HOME. Sure I have said before that home is where the heart is. Perhaps with regards to family life yes it is better that we stick together. But… still something is missing. Something I left behind that matters. That I felt suffocated and anxious sometimes thinking it will take so long before I set eyes on them again. I never felt this way before when I was younger and want to explore the possibilities of making my dreams comes true. It did come true when I settled in New Zealand. A place I longed to come back to. A place where I felt the stronger ME, the better ME and the freedom that comes with it. I miss the natural beauty that surrounds me in all honesty over there. I miss the car that I have sold a month before coming here in the UAE. I miss all types of birds that I fed every morning from our back garden, thinking back then that sometimes it annoys me when a particular bird make a noise (Pukeko) in the morning like an early wake-up call when all I want is to sleep in. I miss our big comforting house compare to our apartment hotel we have now though I am not complaining it’s just I am missing those things that I was taking for granted just because it was there. I miss earning my own money without depending on anyone and I travel when and where I want to within reasons, I miss talking with my friends that I left behind, though I have new friends here but being an EXPATS they too cannot be too attached so not to hurt so much when one is leaving after the contract ends. This is the reality of life here being an expat. I miss the 4 seasons though not as much the long winter months but the colours it brings and the feelings it evokes. I miss all the wonderful places I have been inside the Country and still not finish exploring it as it was cut short even after staying there for more than a decade and the awesome feeling of being proud of its natural beauty! I just felt the need to write and confirm this feeling of sadness sometimes. All expats have this feeling resurrected once in a while I am sure of that. And someday once it’s all done and dusted, once the responsibilities and future established then we WILL go back home… where our hearts hoping for a better tomorrow!
New Zealand flag on top, vinneve photo
Auckland Ferry, NZ, vinneve photo
somewhere in Dunedin,NZ (vinneve photo)
Thanks for your time reading this. Cheers! 🙂